The Belly of the Beast

Northern Virginia.

That should be all I have to say to make you nod your head in agreement and shudder with the evil that surrounds that place.

But seriously, while sitting in traffic on my way home from North Carolina (sitting in traffic is conducive to these types of thoughts) I came up with some pretty good reasons to hate Northern Virginia. If you don’t know much about NOVA, let me just tell you that it is home to the epitome of all that is wrong with the west. The traffic I sat in last night actually is an indicator. Northern Virginia (and some parts of Maryland) is situated right outside of Washington, DC, and so many of the government contractors and sub-contractors are housed there (Booze Allen, Lockheed Martin). Additionally, finance and accounting corporations have their headquarters (Price Waterhouse Coopers, and some others) right there. The Pentagon and CIA are right over there as well. Northern Virginia contains the structural evils that contribute to a society focused on greed, wealth, war, and keeping power. The sprawling suburbs that create the wretched traffic I sat in are (generally) filled with over-large homes and enourmous wealth. All this wealth and power draws people to re-locate to the MD-VA area, but they don’t re-locate right next to their places of work. No, they re-locate 45 min to 2 hours away so that they can live in comfortable houses and sit in hours of traffic every day. It’s worse than DC in many ways because it just has so much space for these types of businesses to sprawl and infest the ground, and yet people cannot stay away. It’s the most moved to area in the country. THAT is why I sat for 45 minutes last night.

So, I officially hate Northern Virginia. You should too.


One comment

  1. Maggie · December 1, 2008

    how can you hate a place that produced ME, Brian?

    i mean sure, i hate it, but still.

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